譯/莊蕙嘉
三本新書 詳細刻畫與疾病共處堅忍歷程
Friedrich Nietzsche's maxim, that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, has a corollary in the book world: What doesn't kill you will be the topic of your memoir.
尼采的名言「凡殺不死你的，會使你更強大。」可以推論到出版界：凡殺不死你的，可成為你回憶錄書名。
The cultural appetite for stories of illness, disease, disorder and grave old age is bottomless. David Pecker, who presided over the National Enquirer and other tabloids for decades, understood the type of headlines — "Sad Last Days," "Six Months to Live" — that drew the most readers.
對於罹病、疾病、失調和高齡故事的文化喜好是無窮盡的。曾掌管國家詢問報和其他小報數十年的大衛．派克了解，「悲傷的最後數日」和「只剩六個月可活」這類標題能吸引最多讀者。
As a genre, disease and illness memoirs are permanently interesting if honest and sharply observed.
如果據實以告且觀察入微，疾病與病痛回憶錄這個類別永遠能令人感興趣。
Three new books about affliction — Fred D'Aguiar's "Year of Plagues," about his aggressive prostate cancer; Jan Grue's "I Live a Life Like Yours," about living with spinal muscular atrophy, diagnosed at age 3; and James Tate Hill's "Blind Man's Bluff," about being declared legally blind at 16 — have a lot to say about desire and pain and depression and shame and unlikely sources of joy, among other topics.
關於疾病之苦的三本新書：佛雷德．達吉亞的「瘟疫之年」寫他的惡性攝護腺癌，揚．格魯的「我的生活和你一樣」寫他在三歲診斷出脊髓性肌肉萎縮症後與之共存，以及16歲被宣告為法定盲人的詹姆斯．塔特．希爾「盲人的吹牛」。如同其他主題，他們都有很多關於渴望、痛苦、沮喪、羞恥和無預期的喜悅想說。
These books resonate especially during this COVID relapse. It's a wary, sensitizing moment. Everybody knows that no one needs more trouble added to their pile.
這些書在新冠疫情再度爆發這段期間特別引發迴響，這是人人小心翼翼且敏感的時刻。每人都知道，沒有人的重擔上需要更多麻煩。
These books are very different.
這幾本書非常不同。
D'Aguiar is a poet, novelist and playwright who was born in London to Guyanese parents. He's in his early 60s and lives in Southern California, where he's a professor of English at UCLA.
達吉亞是出生於倫敦的詩人、小說家及劇作家，雙親是蓋亞那人。他現在60歲出頭，住在南加州，在洛杉磯加州大學擔任英語教授。
In the fall of 2019, he began to feel unwell. When he learned he had prostate cancer, he had no idea what was in store: a year of tests and probes and radiation treatments and surgery that had to take place under fear of COVID and under strict COVID protocols.
2019年秋季他開始感到不適，當他得知罹患攝護腺時，對於會發生什麼事毫無概念：一整年的檢驗、探查、放射線治療和手術，還必須在對新冠肺炎的恐懼與嚴格防疫規定下進行。
Grue's book details a life spent largely in a wheelchair, although he can walk a bit, while dreaming of freedom of motion and escape from reliance on, and the gazes of, others.
格魯雖然能走一點路，他的書詳細描寫大多數時間都坐在輪椅上的人生，同時夢想著行動自如與逃離依賴，還有其他人的眼光。
Grue is married and has a child. He is helplessly epigrammatic: "Diagnosis is not fate"; "Even one who is weak may despise weakness"; "The gaze of others is disciplinary"; and, brilliantly, "The search for a higher purpose can also be an attempt to flee."
格魯已婚，有一個小孩。他不由自主的諷刺說「診斷並非命運」，「即使是個虛弱的人也可能瞧不起虛弱」，還有更精采的，「尋找一個更高遠的目的也可能是企圖逃離」。
Hill's memoir is about how, while in high school, he learned he had Leber's hereditary optic neuropathy. It's a condition that left Hill legally blind.
希爾回憶錄寫道，高中得知罹患雷伯氏視神經萎縮症，導致他被判定為法定盲。
Hill may be legally blind, but he can still see a tiny amount, around the margins. "Blind Man's Bluff" is an ideal title, because the book is largely about Hill's attempts to pass as a sighted person. Like Grue, he really hates being left behind.
希爾或許法定失明，但他仍可以看見物體邊緣的一小部分。「盲人的吹牛」是個理想的書名，因為這本書大部分是關於希爾嘗試裝成看得見的人。就像格魯，他也討厭被拋在後頭。
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